When Harpies Attack
by Megkazul
Summary: poor Dolph... ::grins demonically::


Warnings: None, not even yaoi... though there's certainly a hint of straight  
  
Disclaimer: I'm not Piers Anthony nor any of his publishers; I don't own Xanth  
  
Author's Note: Harpies are such nice creatures, aren't they?  
  
When Harpies Attack  
by Megkazul  
  
Dolph: ::in human form:: Since when did you start doing Xanth fics?  
  
Author: ::purrs:: Since you stopped wearing clothes.  
  
Dolph: ::blushes::  
~~  
  
Once upon a time, the cutest little bishounen was hiking through the forest.  
  
~~  
Dolph: What's a bishounen?  
  
Harpy-chan: ::licks her lips and squawks appreciatively as she stares at him:: *long line of profanity* ...hot guy!!!  
  
Author: All of the characters in this fic are part of the Adult Conspiracy, but since its Mundane readers may not yet be 16, I find it necessary to use the facilities of the hated Censor Ship to edit some of the language.  
~~  
  
That bishounen was Dolph, the young Prince of human Xanth. He wasn't the most sensible of humans, though, and soon wandered into Harpy territory.  
  
"Ooh... look at that one! He'd make #^%$&*!! fine catch."  
  
"Yes, what a %$#@*! man."  
  
"Let's go get him."  
  
*a high-pitched battle cry echoes through the forest*  
  
Dolph fell to his knees, clutching his ears. Within a few seconds, dozens of harpies had surrounded him, drowning poor Dolph in a sea of lush, feathery female bodies. //What is that horrible stench?!// Dolph wanted to curl up in a little ball and hide from the toxic smells and ear-piercing noises around him, but a hand on his chin forced him to look up. He found himself face-to-bosom with the most beautiful bare-breasted female he had seen in... oh, an hour at least. Unable to look away, Dolph stared at the harpy until her head dipped down to block his view. He felt her lips upon his and gave her his tongue, not even bothering to defend himself when she began to rip and tear at it with her beak/teeth. He really didn't mind just having a bleeding mouth, but the other harpies were getting impatient. They began clawing at whatever they could get a hold of, whether it be him or one of their sisters.  
  
"He's mine!"  
  
"No, he's mine!!"  
  
"Let's take him back to the nest!"  
  
"Or to a love spring!"  
  
"I want him here and now!"  
  
*cussing and profanity ensues*  
  
Dolph slipped out of the crowd, not wanting to *#$! such disgusting creatures.  
  
~~  
Harpy-chan: He didn't want to what??  
  
Dolph: *#$! ...I wouldn't *#$! one of your kind if you were the last females in all of Xanth  
  
Harpy-chan: ::decides "*#$!" must mean "mate":: Why you *beeeeeeep!!!* I'm going to *#$! you so hard your *long string of profanity*  
  
Dolph: ::ears turn red and nose begins to bleed:: Uhh...  
  
Harpy-chan: ::breathing heavily, her chest is heaving:: *continues profanity*  
  
Dolph: ::eyes glued to her bosom:: Alright, you've convinced me, let's go *#$!  
~~ (back to the story now...)  
  
Dolph didn't get far before the harpies took pursuit, flying after him. Dolph knew he was doomed unless he managed to change into something fast. His mind went blank. All he could think of was the harpy, and her beautifully bare bosom. //I've got to turn into something!// Dolph concentrated and succeeded in transforming.  
  
The harpies squawked with surprise and utter joy as the bishounen they had been chasing turned into an exceedingly handsome harpy cock.  
  
Dolph realized he had wings and immediately took flight. He wasn't quite sure what he had turned into, but it had wings enough to get him into the air. Unfortunately for him though, the harpies could fly just as well.  
  
The harpies, having years of experience from the Goblin Wars, flew in perfect formation and caught the fleeting male before he was more than a meter above the ground.  
  
//They seem to like this form even better than my human body...// Suddenly he had a dreadful thought. //What if I'm a...?// Dolph looked down at him new body, confirming his worst fears. //I'm a harpy!!!// But Dolph had no time to ponder his situation, the harpies had reached him. They smothered him.  
  
The female harpies didn't waste any time; it wasn't often you had a chance at a genuine harpy cock. It was no wonder they loved him so, for harpy cocks are among the most handsome of males.  
  
It was a week before Dolph managed to escape, sore and depleted, from their clutches.  
  
The coming of Spring saw many harpies with at least one egg to guard.  
  
-Owari-  
  
Author's Note: So what do you think? Does Xanth suit me or should I just stick with Gundam? ::considers writing more Xanth:: ...I bet the Maenads would like a fic... Please review.  



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